


skin

by antisun



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Lee Minho | Lee Know-centric, M/M, Sad Lee Minho | Lee Know, anxious lee know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:48:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29157669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antisun/pseuds/antisun
Summary: It's one of those days, Minho wakes up with an itch beneath his skin and his chest hurting.orMinho is anxious.tw// panic attacks.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Kim Seungmin/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Felix/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Minho | Lee Know & Everyone, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Everyone, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Seo Changbin, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 3
Kudos: 131





	skin

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this work, I haven't written in a while and I do apologize for any mistakes.

"Minho, it's time to wake up"

Minho blinks, opening his eyes, a buzzing feeling in his fingertips, eyes still puffy from the cry he did last night. He sighed, he could deal with the slight anxiety, it was only at a 2, there's no way it would progress right? Chan stood over him with a small smile on his face. With a sigh Minho turns over ready to get up and face the day. He felt itchy, reaching towards his arm he starts to scratch it slightly to try and appease the anxious feeling. He looks away as Chan leaves the room. He knew it was one of those days, an anxious burn in his chest. Minho also knew that he couldn't bring it up to his members, they all had a long day in front of them, full of photoshoots and practice. He was pretty sure he also had a solo recording session today, he was asked for another run at his lines because his first try simply did not fit the song. 

He curls up taking a couple deep breaths to push away the tears he could feel rising up, a lump forming in his throat. Slowly, Minho gets up and groans at the pain in his head, he pushes himself up and moves to the closet to pick out a pair of sweats and sweatshirt. It simply wasn't a day where he felt like he had to dress up, he just needed to get through it. Pulling his sleeves down over his hands he picks at his nails trying to will away the anxiety. As he leaves his room he notices that everyone has already gone to the kitchen, which means he's late. 

_You're holding them up, how pathetic._

Grabbing at his head he slightly tugs at his hair to get rid of the voice in his head. He made his way to the kitchen letting his bangs cover his face. He knew he looked worst for wear, his eyes slightly red from rubbing it that morning, as well as the puffiness from the night before. . 

"Good morning hyung, did you sleep well?"

Ah, Minho recognized that voice, so why was it so hard for his brain to place it? He glanced up managing to make out Hyunjin's face. He smiled slightly looking back down and nodding his head. Speaking would take too much energy. He gulped as his stomach churned. He moved towards the fridge and pulled out an apple, it was probably all he could keep down. He took a bite as he stepped away from the fridge, turning only to see a pair of feet blocking his way. He didn't want to look up so he tried to go around, only to be blocked once again by the pair of feet.

"Hyung. Exactly why are you staring at the floor?" 

Minho groaned, it was Jisung. How was he going to get around this? Jisung practically knew him inside out. 

"I am eating Sung, did you need something?"

"Yeah, Do you mind looking up?"

Minho winced, he had to think of something fast. It seemed as though Jisung may catch on fast. His heart starts to race, he was starting to feel a more anxious. His stomach was flipping and his hands were itchy, shit. He worriedly started scratching his thigh, a slight frown on his face. He shook his head, he did not want to look up.

"Hyung?"

"Sorry Sung, just tired."

Jisung sighed looking at his hyung with a calculated gaze. "Fine... you sure you are alright?"

"Yeah sung, promise." 

Jisung hummed in approval and left the kitchen. Minho let out a breathe of air he didn't know he was holding in, this was going to be a long day for sure. He threw away his half eaten apple and moved out of the kitchen, knocking into something sturdy. He looked up only to be eye to eye with Changbin. Minho's eyes flew open before he quickly looked back down picking at his fingers, the skin starting to bleed already. Changbin placed his hand on Minho's shoulder. 

"Morning hyung" He chuckled. "Watch where you're going!"

He stepped around Minho to get into the kitchen. Minho took this opportunity to retreat to the living room to wait for their manager to come collect them. He was glad Changbin didn't say anything, in fact it seemed he didn't notice Minho's state at all which is good!

Changbin turned to look as his hyung retreated to the living room. He noticed how he hunched his shoulders and was picking at his fingers. He was concerned for his hyung, but it didn't look like he was that bad. Usually Minho told them when he was anxious, he promised he would. He wouldn't start lying now right? Changbin resolved that he would keep an eye out for his hyung today. Just as he was going to go sit next to his hyung, Jisung came and tapped him on the shoulder. 

"Minho hyung's acting weird right?" Jisung stated.

"yeah.. but I want him to come to us.. so maybe wait it out? I'll tell the others to be on lookout."

Jisung nodded and walked away. Changbin quickly texted the others his suspicions and made sure everyone was on the lookout for Minho today.

Minho tugged at his hair while biting his lip, his skin becoming itchier, and his hands colder. It was an odd sensation, usually he tells the members about his anxiety so it doesn't progress to a level that was concerning. The slight tremor from prior had gotten a little worse, but he was still on a 3 on his scale. He was fine. 

Finally their manager came to collect them, so Minho got up and made his way to the car. He sat in the back, away from prying eyes and rested his head against the window. He sighed at the silence, waiting for the other members to come. 

_I think they're ignoring you. I mean Changbin didn't even ask you what's wrong. Does he even care about you? ___

__Minho gripped his hair tugging at it, trying to lure the voice to leave. Changbin cared. He cared. He was just tired. Minho also didn't tell him anything, so of course Changbin wouldn't ask right? He closed his eyes turning away as the members piled in. He slowly drifted off, his head falling onto the window._ _

__Seungmin looked over and guided Minho's head onto his shoulder. He looked carefully at his hyung's face frowning at the puffiness under his eyes. He gently stroked Minho's hair, smiling as he sees him relax slightly._ _

__"Hyung seems stressed"_ _

__Seungmin turns his head towards Jeongin._ _

__"Yeah, I agree.. He seemed a little anxious earlier as well."_ _

__"All we can do is keep an eye out for him" Jeongin pouts._ _

The boys arrive at the JYP building, jeongin sighing as he realizes he has to wake his hyung. He looks around to see if chan or changbin are around to carry his hyung instead of having to wake him up. As he realizes there is no one around, Minho startles awake. 

"Ah Hyung we are here!" 

Minho nods his hands shaking from the nerve wracking dream he just had. Maybe he wasn't okay, his anxiety at a 6, it was threatening. 

"You okay hyung?"

Minho contemplates his answer, if he told Jeongin what would happen? He would still have to go to work and survive the day.. especially since its something that is scheduled. 

"Yeah I am Innie, just got startled thats all" 

He weakly smiles at Jeongin and climbs out of the van, scratching at his arms. He takes a pause to take in a couple deep breaths. Why wouldn't his heart calm down, it felt like it was going to pop out of his chest. He grips it with his hand hoping that the pressure will stop this feeling of it booming against his chest cavity. It's going to pop out, how does he stop it, he needs to stop it. Jeongin grips his shoulder giving him a reassuring smile. Minho could do this, it was just a photoshoot and a dance practice. He could do it.

Minho scratches at his arms trying to get the itching under his skin to ease up, the pounding on his chest getting faster as they near the other members. He keeps his head down not wanting them to see his flushed cheeks and red eyes. He leans his head on Felix's back murmuring something that the other couldn't quite make out. Felix turns around smiling at his hyung and back hugging him as the managers relay their schedules. Minho was grateful when he heard their manager say they moved his solo recording to two days away. He leans into Felix's touch which his eyes closed, not noticing the members sharing looks with eachother. 

They move towards the makeup station, Minho settling into his chair. The makeup noona coming over and starting on his face. He is grateful she doesn't say anything about the bags under his eyes, but he does get a disapproving smile from her which almost feels worse. He worriedly scratches at his arms while trying to keep the tears down.

_She's going to tell ___

__No. She won't_ _

_yes she will, you are going to be caught._

____Minho was zoned out, he didn't even notice when his makeup and hair was finished until Jisung nudged him. Minho looked up slightly dazed and nodded at Jisung, making his way to the couch, where he started scratching his arms to ground himself. He winced when he realized he had broken skin, but continued because the feeling helped._ _ _ _

____Hyunjin noticed his hyungs actions, slowly starting to piece together what's wrong. His hyung was having an anxious day, he had to inform the members soon. He sat next to Minho smiling at him and pulling him into a hug._ _ _ _

____"Lino hyung, we barely talked this morning"_ _ _ _

____Minho hummed slightly leaning into hyunjin's touch._ _ _ _

____"We still have 45 minutes until the shoot, you look tired hyung, you should nap!"_ _ _ _

____Hyunjin smiled as his hyung nodded into his chest and closed his eyes. He gently rubbed his hyung shoulder watching him drift off. Once he is sleeping, Hyunjin texts the members individually about how minho is probably anxious. He looks at his hyung smiling at how he looks relaxed, and drifting off with him._ _ _ _

____Minho is rudely awakened 30 minutes later by his manager. He blinks slowly and nods when he is told it's his turn to his shoot. Scratching his arm, he gets up after moving hyunjin off of him and walking to the photoshoot. It was bright. So.. bright. His heart rate quickened, the flashes in his face made his breath catch in his throat. The tears rising into his eyes as he attempted to pose. He stumbled through the poses, wincing when he overhears the PDs talking about his face._ _ _ _

_You're ugly see, can't even do a photoshoot without freaking out_

_You're weak_

_Come on, can't even pay attention to the shoot?_

_Even your members think you're ugly._

______He was close to panicking, it felt like this shoot would never stop. His fingers were cold, why couldn't he feel them. The PD finally said it was over, he shakily made his way to the waiting room couch where he immediately slumped over. He felt someones hand in his hair before he fell asleep for the third time today. He was tired, extremely tired._ _ _ _ _ _

_Can't even stay up, why are you so weak?_

________Chan frowned looking down at Minho, he fell asleep so fast. He continued to stroke his hair while studying Minho's face. It was hard for Minho, he knew this, Minho tended to overthink and think less of himself. He sighed leaning back, he had to somehow reconvince Minho he doesn't have to hide. After giving him a stern scolding of course.________

____

__When Minho woke, it was to Chan gently shaking him. It was time for the group photos, Minho could do this. He slowly moved towards the door, his heart pounding, like it was going to pump out of his chest. He can't do this, it was getting harder to breathe. He can't feel his hands, he had to leave. Minho gasps for air pushing himself to get to the washroom before dropping to the floor. He swore he was at a 6, but now it feels like hes going to die. His muscles are seizing and he cant breathe. He can't breathe. He needs help but he can't, he can't breathe. There are tears leaking out of his eyes, he should have told someone, now hes going to die in this ugly washroom and theres no one there to help him._ _

__"Lino hyung? Why'd you run out?"_ _

__Who was that? Minho could barely breathe, who? His chest hurt he was shaking he couldn't see, he couldn't see! His heart was going to break through his chest and leave he could feel it. He tried to move, but he couldn't his breathes coming out in short gasps. He tried to speak but it was just futile. He was going to die, tears were running down his face as he struggled to intake air. His fingers were cold, they had probably fallen off, he couldn't feel them and he couldn't move them. He was going to die._ _

__"Hyung? HYUNG!"_ _

__Jisung had found Minho on the floor struggling to breathe. He knew better than to touch him without permission._ _

__"Hyung can I touch you? Please?"_ _

__Jisung was trying to remain calm while staring at his precious hyung, who was currently struggling to breathe. He took in Minho's appearence waiting with baited breathe for him to approve. Minho slowly nodded while gasping, which threw jisung into action. He quickly placed his hyung in his arms and made sure Minhos hand was on his chest._ _

__"Okay, follow me, Can you do that for me? We are going to go slow. Breathe in" Jisung took a deep breath in letting his chest raise so Minho could feel and follow it._ _

__"and out" He slowly released the breath allowing minho to copy._ _

__Minho was shakily following along, his tears still flowing as he hiccupped his way through the breathing excercise. His lungs were burning and it almost felt like he would never get enough air into his lungs. He gripped onto Jisungs shirt trying his best to stay grounded, it was fuzzy. Time seemed to come to a complete stop. It was just them, on a bathroom floor. Minho slowly calmed down, his anxiety still high but not as bad. He sniffled leaning into Jisung._ _

__"sung, I wanna go home" He whispered._ _

__Jisung nodded into his hair. "Can you get up hyungie?"_ _

__"I don't know, I can't feel my hands. I'm cold" Minho hunched into Jisung, embarrassed._ _

Jisung hummed bringing him closer into his chest. "That's okay, we can warm you up and calm you down first. There's no rush."

Minho reached up to rub at his eyes, bringing them away with his eye makeup stained onto it. His eyes staring tearing up again, causing him to sniffle. 

"I ruined the shoot" he hiccupped.

"Hyung. You know the shoot isn't as important as you, don't blame yourself." Jisung placed a soft kiss on his forehead while running his hand through his hair. 

"still" Minho protested weakly.

Just as Jisung was about to retort, Chan barges in worried. 

"Minho, I shouldn't have left you on your own I am sorry" Chan says quickly kneeling next to minho taking his hand into his.

"Not your fault hyung, I should have said something" Minho smiles weakly

_maybe they do care_

"You will be scolded later, but for now lets get you home" Chan smiles down at the younger. 

Minho nods wiping his tears roughly as Chan helped jisung get him to his feet. He heavily leaned against chan, exhaustion taking over as he let his muscle memory help him to the car, where hyunjin was waiting for them. Minho shudders, realizing that everyone was going to see him in this state, and paused, scratching his already torn up arm. It was hard to see that it was bleeding as he was in a hoodie. Chan grabs his hand giving him a stern look, telling him he better stop with his eyes. Minho whined in embarrassment and detached himself from Chan's side to sidle up to Hyunjin. They sat in the back with Minho draped on hyunjins side, trying to keep his mind off the events that could have been potentially avoided.

They arrived at the dorm pretty fast, and Minho climbed out slowly, the dread settling in his bones. He gnawed on his lip keeping his head down as he leaned into Hyunjin, his body still incredibly weak. They were inside before they knew it and Minho was on the couch with seven pairs of eyes focused on him. He whimpered disliking the sudden attention and scratching at his arms, he didn't like this, his breath was getting caught in his throat by this lump that refused to move. It was like a parasite, taking up all his air.

Chan sat down and stared intently at Minho, causing him to squirm under the gaze and hiss when he scratches over a particularly new wound. This did not go unnoticed by the members, but they wanted Minho to bring it up. He winced at the silence and reached up to rub the tears from his eyes before they fell. 

"I'm sorry for not telling you" Minho whispered bringing his knees up onto the couch so he could pull them towards his chest, trying to become smaller. 

"Hyung, we aren't mad at you, but you know you're supposed to tell us. What if Jisung hadn't found you?" Changbin asked looking at Minho from his position on the floor.

Minho winced at the criticism but nodded, apologetic. They had agreed to inform eachother.

"Hyung, I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner"

That was Felix, the ever sweet loving kid. Minho frowned wanting to say it's not his fault, but his voice simply wouldn't leave his throat. He looked up frantically, unshed tears in his eyes and shook his head no at Felix. He then took in the state of the room, noticing how everyone was sporting sad looks on their faces. He hated that he was the one that caused this. 

"I promise, I won't do it again" Minhos bottom lip quivers afraid they will reject the apology.

"okay hyung we believe you" Seungmin said smiling at him.

Jeongin had just come to hug him to show him his response. Hyunjin kissed his forehead while Changbin whispered his own apology into Minho's ear. Chan promptly stood up and excused both him and Minho as he dragged him to the washroom. 

"okay, now let's take care of those arms shall we?"

Minho looked up startled, and opened his mouth to ask how.

"Because I know you, I am always keeping an eye out for you, for all of them too" Chan says while lifitng Minho's sleeves, taking out the first aid kit so he could clean the wounds. It was a quiet process both of them simply basking in the silence until Chan had finished. He kissed Minho's arm and smiled warmly up at him.

"I am sorry I didn't say anything sooner"

Minho looked at chan and simply gave him a hug. 

The boys left the bathroom and made their way back to the living room, where the rest of the members had set up the blankets so they could all sleep in once place. Minho's heart warmed at the sight. 

"Come on Hyung, Let's sleep"

Minho sighed a small smile on his features as he moved to cuddle with the boys. He was content, even for a short while. They did care.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> I know the ending was a bit rushed and I apologize for that!
> 
> It has been a while and I don't think many people really know who I am. I am more than happy to keep it that way!
> 
> I am taking requests as I need something to write about to get my mind off school. It may take some time but I am more than happy to do anything! I do need to know the group and dynamic but if you comment and I don't know, I will make sure to tell you!
> 
> Please let me know how you liked it!


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